Thursday, May 26, 2011

I'm Overwhelmed...

There...I said it!  Who knew that typing those two words can give me such relief!?

Now...what has brought all of this on you ask?  Well...

1. My wedding is a little over a month away.
2. Working on a television pilot.  (Ok, that time suck has ended, but until recently really added to my stress)
3. I am trying to maintain and grow my own business
4. I haven't met my pre-wedding weight loss goals.
5. Trying to carve out quality time for the fiance.
6. Trying to be available and in touch with my family and friends.
7. Maintaining my household.
8. Blah, blah, blah.
9. Oh, did I mention that I haven't blogged since March?

Then, I got stressed out shopping for my wedding shoes.  Shopping.  For.  Shoes.  This is how I knew that something had to change.  "Shopping for shoes" and "stressed" should never be in the same sentence.  Never.

So here I am...having to face some harsh realities.  I am a strong woman.  I am.  Even though this is usually a very positive thing to be I have realized that there is a flip side to it.  The same strength that has helped me get to where I am today and accomplish all that I've accomplished is also the reason I am so hard on myself when I haven't met my goals.  I've realized that when it happens there are times that I allow it to halt all progress...on everything.  Not good. 

The best and worst part about having an epiphany about a not so great aspect of myself is that now it's up to me to make a change. 

A couple of years ago I decided to give up something for Lent.  After thinking long and hard I decided to give up Negative Thoughts.  Although I'm generally a very positive person I noticed that sometimes I would have not so nice thoughts about someones outfit on the subway or about the person that abruptly stops in the middle of the sidewalk in front of me. 

Those forty plus days were actually amazing.  There was admittedly  a rough start, but once I really got into it things began to change.  I would constantly receive good news.  The train would arrive right when I hit the platform.  Work came my way.  Blessings seemed to just come from every direction.  Then, at some point, I lost it.  I honestly don't remember why I didn't continue to live my life that way, but what I have realized is that I can start again.  Today.  Right now.

So now my plan is to go from "Overhelmed" to constantly "Overjoyed".  After all, most of the things that are overwhelming me are actually amazing things that make me happy.  I mean come on...I'm marrying the greatest man in the whole wide world!

This experience has also made me realize how cathartic blogging can be.  From the first word I typed to right now my entire being has elevated.  I'm feeling a sense of calm that I didn't have when I started.

Yay!  It's already working!

Photo:  I don't know the source of this photo, but if anyone does please let me know and I will credit accordingly.  Thanks!

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