I'm Overwhelmed...

There...I said it!  Who knew that typing those two words can give me such relief!?

Now...what has brought all of this on you ask?  Well...

1. My wedding is a little over a month away.
2. Working on a television pilot.  (Ok, that time suck has ended, but until recently really added to my stress)
3. I am trying to maintain and grow my own business
4. I haven't met my pre-wedding weight loss goals.
5. Trying to carve out quality time for the fiance.
6. Trying to be available and in touch with my family and friends.
7. Maintaining my household.
8. Blah, blah, blah.
9. Oh, did I mention that I haven't blogged since March?

Then, I got stressed out shopping for my wedding shoes.  Shopping.  For.  Shoes.  This is how I knew that something had to change.  "Shopping for shoes" and "stressed" should never be in the same sentence.  Never.

So here I am...having to face some harsh realities.  I am a strong woman.  I am.  Even though this is usually a very positive thing to be I have realized that there is a flip side to it.  The same strength that has helped me get to where I am today and accomplish all that I've accomplished is also the reason I am so hard on myself when I haven't met my goals.  I've realized that when it happens there are times that I allow it to halt all progress...on everything.  Not good. 

The best and worst part about having an epiphany about a not so great aspect of myself is that now it's up to me to make a change. 

A couple of years ago I decided to give up something for Lent.  After thinking long and hard I decided to give up Negative Thoughts.  Although I'm generally a very positive person I noticed that sometimes I would have not so nice thoughts about someones outfit on the subway or about the person that abruptly stops in the middle of the sidewalk in front of me. 

Those forty plus days were actually amazing.  There was admittedly  a rough start, but once I really got into it things began to change.  I would constantly receive good news.  The train would arrive right when I hit the platform.  Work came my way.  Blessings seemed to just come from every direction.  Then, at some point, I lost it.  I honestly don't remember why I didn't continue to live my life that way, but what I have realized is that I can start again.  Today.  Right now.

So now my plan is to go from "Overhelmed" to constantly "Overjoyed".  After all, most of the things that are overwhelming me are actually amazing things that make me happy.  I mean come on...I'm marrying the greatest man in the whole wide world!

This experience has also made me realize how cathartic blogging can be.  From the first word I typed to right now my entire being has elevated.  I'm feeling a sense of calm that I didn't have when I started.

Yay!  It's already working!






Photo:  I don't know the source of this photo, but if anyone does please let me know and I will credit accordingly.  Thanks!

In the Etsy Shop...

The newest Scarflace in Apple Green!  I really love this recycled cotton yarn.  It's so easy to knit up and it feels great!  I love this color because, I have to confess, I am an apple snob.  I will only eat granny smith apples.  The thought of grabbing a macintosh or red delicious or a gala never even crosses my mind.  So in honor of my apple elitist attitude...enjoy the new scarflace!

Christmas in Lake Tahoe...

I am the type of person that takes way too many pictures.  I'm not a professional photographer so I figure that the more pictures I take the better the odds are that I'll have some good ones.  That being said...it took a while to curate the millions of photographs into this still picture heavy post.

I had gone to Tahoe for a day in 2009 when I learned to ski.  It was beautiful and I discovered that I loved to ski.  On bunny hills.

This year we went for a week!  If I would have known in 2009 all the beauty that Tahoe had to offer I would have thrown a tantrum when we left.  Everywhere you turn was a postcard.  Breathtakingly beautiful!

It's even beautiful there when it's about to storm...

Sunrises and sunsets were almost painful they were so beautiful.  The range of colors in such short periods of time were amazing...

Oh!  And we saw a bear while snowshoeing!  Well, technically I didn't see the bear, until this photo (and video) taken by the fiance, because as soon as his mom said, "There's a bear!", I was gone!  I have to say that the zoom on my camera is pretty bad so I was shocked at how close the bear actually was...

Needless to say I had an amazing time and highly recommend Lake Tahoe to any and everyone that will listen to me.  Now I'm back in reality where the snow isn't quite as pristine and white, but I do love NYC with all my heart.

ps. I would be a jerk if I didn't acknowledge the fact that I haven't posted in forever.  I know that even though I said I wouldn't be that I was indeed a slacker.  If you could see the sad face I'm making right now you would totally forgive me.